Doolally Doris

Doolally Doris 

We have a haunting 

Its not that daunting 

It's an old dame called Doris 

Who use to live wild in the forest 

She is the craziest  ghost, 

 But unlike most 

She loves to act daft! 

Have a laugh!

So every Halloween 

She has the same old routine, 

She floats in to town, 

Shadows all the children around 

She chuckles and jokes 

Like a very drunken bloke 

This is her treat, 

To all of us in the street, 

BUT 

She is so spookily of her nut 

She bids us farewell 

By Cheekily 

Flashing her butt !

Submitted to :dVerse Poets Open link night where poets share 

And              :Funny Friday at The Purple Tree House

CRACKS !!!

This poem was inspired by this brilliant Pavement art for the theme of  Halloween, submitted to Gooseberry Gardens Poetry Picnic

Cracks !!!

Halloween approaches as autumn encroaches 

The structures of all worlds fractured and torn 

No-one or nothing prepare for what is to be born, 

In the heavens above are gods who are misunderstood 

Us 'twixt between, angry at governments, not good! 

Then there is those way down below, 

Where no mortal man wants or dreams to go.

Awaiting this date to avenge their fate. 

Small cracks which have appeared 

Things needing mending but mere mortals sneer, 

Allowing their societies to riot, spread notoriety, 

The undead seize their chances to walk amongst men 

Hoping their gods may this time pardon them,

They are the undead condemned to fiery hell, 

A peaceful existence would not bode well 

The murders, rapists and all of life's scum 

Become the undead or zombies if they don't succumb

To an ordered pleasant reality 

A human race, loving and respecting community. 

But those cracks that have appeared in our earthly existence, 

Negate our guarantee of evil resistance! 

So if pavement cracks suddenly appear 

Scream loudly scream out in fear 

In hope that your fellow man 

Will help you fight evil if he can 

But the horror of this world 

Is that people's ability for empathy is unfurled 

Evil is not the zombies or the undead 

Fear only those that breathe instead !

Spiders Beware !

Spiders Beware !

MK Citizen

Halloween approaches, 

 A time of witches and cockroaches, 

But there's a different invasion  

Creepy crawlies of another persuasion 

They've scuttled into Milton Keynes 

Spiders so wicked and so very mean

Occasionally they'd like to munch 

On humans flesh for their Lunch

They hide everywhere 

So on Halloween beware!

Of the black, shiny, creepy, critters, 

That if they bite will surely give you jitters,

Leave the spiders alone to play! 

Quietly leave and sneak away, 

 Tell a grown up what you've seen

Then trick or treat for Halloween ! 

This Story was reported in The Milton Keynes Citizen On October 17th 2011

Anyone For A Kickabout

Anyone For A Kickabout 

We were off to visit my great, great Auntie Jean 

She was old, wrinkly, spindly and mean, 

Because of her big cabaggy ears 

She had a horn made of bone so she could hear 

She'd shout real loud she said to make her self-clear

In her rickety rickety old house made of wood 

We played quietly like mice that was understood 

She kept strange things high up on shelves 

An eyeball in a jar and dolls that looked like elves 

From the shelves hung whips of dried up lavender

As far as I know, she was never a gardener 

One night when the moon shone and I couldn't rest 

I crept down those creaky stairs quiet as I could, I tried my best 

I  sat on the bottom step and saw with my very own eyes 

The dolls come to life, turned in to their Elfy guise,

They shimmed down the lavender ropes 

                                        

Somehow with the jar aloft they kind of coped

They dance upon the jar top 

And clapped with glee when it went pop 

That staring eye was suddenly kicked out 

The elves went mad and began to shout 

The next I knew they were playing eyeball!

The eye was kicked as they played 

The eyeball rolled and gunge was splayed 

it looked like there had been a slug invasion 

Slime was all over the house on that occasion 

No one team seem to win a game 

But one of the elves became very lame 

All his kin seem suddenly scared 

And shimmed back up the lavender 

It seemed they didn't care! 

Next morning I found, I had fallen asleep at the bottom of the stairs 

What I saw next, tickle me all over, even hair!

My  great,great auntie Jean pick up the now still dead elf 

Looked up and counted the others were still on the shelf 

With one flick of her hand, the elf melted into her hearing horn

The bit she held it by, the bit that was well worn! 

She search the floor, scoured all about, 

"where's that eyeball gone" she began to shout 

She followed some slime trails around the room 

Then finally she spied it, it had rolled beside her broom

Never was I to return to my great great Auntie Jeans 

But I was never to forget what I swear I had seen 

So beware of old ladies with bits on very high shelves 

For they may need a new team of eyeball playing elves   

A Scream In The Night

                   Scream In The Night 

As I lay with the light shining eerily off the moon,

I slept soundly, morning always came way too soon !

When suddenly, a wild piercing blood curdling scream

Startled me to a jolt from my world of dreams,

I sat bolt upright,chilled to the bone,

Something not human. possessed my home, 

Banging and thumping I could hear from afar, 

The moon light skipped in through my door ajar,

Gingerly, half asleep, I stumbled out of my bed, 

To face the confusion that was causing me dread ! 

The screaming bounced around, resonating off every wall,

I tiptoed as quiet as I could, heart beating into the hall,

The banging and screaming multiplied and amplified,

My beating heart and thumping fear became louder, fortified,

The source of the hullabaloo became clearer and clearer,

I edged up closer and closer getting nearer and nearer 

To the terrific noise, the source which was now hardcore !

As I felt along the wall with fingertips to the mouth of the door,

Entering I came face to face with a pink coloured tangle,

                            

                            

Goo Oozing out of a face that seemed mangled,

A monster possessed just wanting to fight, 

I'd completely forgot that tonight was that night

I promised, I'd take to it like a duck to water, 

A night I could look after my god-daughter 

A cuddle and coo to this little angel ensued

For if her mummy and daddy knew this story,

I would be totally screwed !!!!

 Submitted to the: The Purple Treehouse