Anyone For A Kickabout
We were off to visit my great, great Auntie Jean
She was old, wrinkly, spindly and mean,
Because of her big cabaggy ears
She had a horn made of bone so she could hear
She'd shout real loud she said to make her self-clear
In her rickety rickety old house made of wood
We played quietly like mice that was understood
She kept strange things high up on shelves
An eyeball in a jar and dolls that looked like elves
From the shelves hung whips of dried up lavender
As far as I know, she was never a gardener
One night when the moon shone and I couldn't rest
I crept down those creaky stairs quiet as I could, I tried my best
I sat on the bottom step and saw with my very own eyes
The dolls come to life, turned in to their Elfy guise,
They shimmed down the lavender ropes
Somehow with the jar aloft they kind of coped
They dance upon the jar top
And clapped with glee when it went pop
That staring eye was suddenly kicked out
The elves went mad and began to shout
The next I knew they were playing eyeball!
The eye was kicked as they played
The eyeball rolled and gunge was splayed
it looked like there had been a slug invasion
Slime was all over the house on that occasion
No one team seem to win a game
But one of the elves became very lame
All his kin seem suddenly scared
And shimmed back up the lavender
It seemed they didn't care!
Next morning I found, I had fallen asleep at the bottom of the stairs
What I saw next, tickle me all over, even hair!
My great,great auntie Jean pick up the now still dead elf
Looked up and counted the others were still on the shelf
With one flick of her hand, the elf melted into her hearing horn
The bit she held it by, the bit that was well worn!
She search the floor, scoured all about,
"where's that eyeball gone" she began to shout
She followed some slime trails around the room
Then finally she spied it, it had rolled beside her broom
Never was I to return to my great great Auntie Jeans
But I was never to forget what I swear I had seen
So beware of old ladies with bits on very high shelves
For they may need a new team of eyeball playing elves
