Life in degrees is a personal poetry and occasional short story blog .
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Saturday, 17 September 2011

Train of Thought

Train Of Thought 
Overcrowded Train 

Chit,.. chat,.. chit... chat. 
Wheels of life moving, 
Staying on track 
Chit ,chat, chit ,chat.  

Chug chug chugging, 
Tracks of society, 
Over rule natures priority 
Chug chug chugging

Ra di Boom Ra di Boom
Humanity coming of  the rails, 
Morality sinking, filling up jails 
Ra di Boom Ra di Boom 

Ding ding ding a dong 
Journey almost ended 
Natures poorly tended 
Ding ding ding a dong 

Screech screech halt, 
Devastation is our fault
Reverse the trend, 
Or its journeys end 
Screech .......screech...... HALT !

 Submitted for : dVerse Poetics  where poets share their creativity plenty more to explore 

16 comments:

  1. so sad that this is how it is.

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  2. Love the onomatopoeia... it adds depth to the journey; hopefully reverse slows things down.

    ~laurie

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  3. I liek the use of sounds - it propels the words forward, a quickening toward that "halt" at the end. Good poem.

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  4. This is a very oral piece - read aloud it bumps along very nicely -captured a good rhythm
    strong words at the end really hammer home

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  5. def like the use of sound...and yes we seem to be chugging right along toward our own destruction...nice rhythm and flow to this...

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  6. Sad that it has to be this way... where's the train of change?

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  7. Love the sounds of the train... and that image is reality.. for these people, it is the only route to go from one point to another.

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  8. this is a fast paced poem, coming alive with sound and taking us to the deeper meaning...very nice take on the prompt

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  9. really enjoyed how you composed this piece, lent itself so well to the expression. Lead in image is astounding! ~ Rose

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  10. A joy of onomatopoeia and I loved the image!

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  11. I loved how you pace our reading. And another truth in depth. Thank You So Much.

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  12. What a dynamic piece. So much going on in here. I love the global message and the projective tone, there's also a natural flow to the piece- the words replacing the choo choo sound was very fresh and I agree completely with Arron, this piece is made to be read aloud, thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed the read

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  13. love the rythem , great verse

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  14. nice...i remember this one...what a crazy train ride that would be eh? love the sounds of the train though...used to listen to them when i went to bed...

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  15. i remember this one too. i wrote one for that picture back then, this time, I wrote about bumble bee

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  16. this is fabulous! the photo, your use of onomatopoeia and the message, too. great job!!!

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